Answer: This is a big question and it deserves more discussion than I can provide here. So let me offer an overview and some links to additional resources.
I think the way to achieve balance is to have: clear priorities, A+ organizational skills, and a productive focus on what matters most. Balance is not fundamentally a matter of working less. Instead, it’s a matter of spending as much of your time and effort as possible on things you enjoy and feel passionate about. Because the other stuff won’t just disappear, it’s important to organize your time and effort, scarce resources both, so you’re not wasting them. You need an honest view of what’s important to you and then the courage to define success for yourself and go after it.
Ask yourself what makes you happy, what inspires you and what are you good at? Then make choices designed to give you more of these things and less of the kinds of things that don’t make you happy. As a lawyer with young children, I knew I wanted to continue my career, but I also wanted to spend more than 30 minutes a day with my kids. So I figured out which parts of child-raising were important to me as a mother and structured my time accordingly. I didn’t need to see their first steps or hear their first words to take great pleasure in their development as walkers and talkers, so, for me, putting them in day care as infants was an easy and guilt-free choice. But I did want to spend weekends with them, so I took them to the office with me when I had to go in, and I never scheduled social events that didn’t include them for Saturday or Sunday.
Similarly, I spent my time at work on projects and committees that would give me the best bang for the buck in terms of enjoyable work, visibility and giving the firm/company what it valued most. The point is to get your choices clear in your mind, get comfortable with them, and then get on with things. Get rid of guilt as an obstacle to going after what you want. Remember, it’s not success if it doesn’t make you happy – no matter what other people may think.
Understand, too, that the balance won’t be perfect every moment nor does it have to be. What counts is satisfactory balance over time. Lose the “all or nothing” mentality. Recognize organizational realities for what they are and get yourself in positions where they work for you, not against you. Aim for improvement, not perfection.
Here are some additional resources:
Suit Yourself Essays: Suit Yourself; What ARE Your Priorities?; It’s About Priorities, Not Time; Time and Commitment Are Not Synonyms
Productivity Resources: Focus on What Matters Most; High Impact Performance Characteristics; Time Management 101
